Another lighter arson today! When will the madness end?

We must stand up to the extremists of the N.L.A. with their divisive slogan "Lighters don't burn things. People burn things." They claim, "When lighters are outlawed, only outlaws will have lighters". That's a straw man set up to scare the poor rural white men who cling bitterly to their Bibles and their lighters. No one wants to ban all lighters.

We just want sensible lighter control. We must license lighters, require an instant background check before lighter purchases, ban heavy-duty "fire-man killer" flints, and outlaw semi-automatic arson lighters and the cheap "Friday Night Lights" favored by arsonists.

How many children must die before we require flic-locks on all bics?!

Kent