Children Writing About The Ocean...

   1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.
       (Kelly, age 6)

   2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls.
       (Jerry, age 6)

   3) - If you are surrounded by ocean you are an island.
       If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent.
       (Wayne , age 7)

   4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily
       Richardson. She's not my friend any more.
       (Kylie, age 6)

   5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.
       (Billy, age 8)

   6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and
       pots and comes back with crabs.
       (Millie, age 6)

   7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to      
       cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the
       sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said
       they would have been better off eating beans.(William, age 7)

   8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are
       beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do
       mermaids get pregnant? Like, really?
       (Helen, age 6)

   9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is
       always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big
       sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.
       (Amy, age 6)

10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels
       can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea
       where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers.
       (Christopher, age 7)

11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it
       makes my willy small.
       (Kevin, age 6)

12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers
       can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.
       (Becky, age 8)

13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she
       was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because   
       water fired right up her big fat ass..
       (Julie, age 7)

14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't
       drown I don't know.
       (Bobby, age 6)

15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the
       ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and
       married my mom.
       (James, age 7