Metro, Dec 18, 2007

I won't gravel, but I just couldn't kerb my feelings
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A teenager who tried to have sex with a pavement claimed yesterday it was a drunken prank.

Motorists looked on in amazement as Steven Marshall took down his trousers before starting to simulate sexual intercourse.

The 18-year-old also exposed himself and carried out a sex act in view of a female taxi driver in his home town of Galashiels in the Borders.

Marshall admitted a charge of public indecency yesterday at Selkirk Sheriff Court wand was put on probation for 12 months.

But his lawyer argued there was not a significant sexual aspect to the case.

As a result, Sheriff Kevin Drummond decided not to place Marshall's name on the Sex Offenders Register, although he described his behavious as "bizarre".

Mark Harrower, defending, told the court: "He is a perfectly normal 18-year-old but he does have this arthritis condition which troubles him and requires medication, while he was drinking alcohol to excess".

He said the offence was more of a prank in front of his friends after drinking half a litre of vodka and there was not a "significant sexual aspect" to the case which would result in registration.

"He does appear to be very ashamed about it and very shocked at his behaviour".

But Sheriff Drummond said: "This is bizarre.

"Anyone who lies on the road in the daylight, is significantly intoxicated and is partially undressed has a problem." However, he added, "This was plainly a drunken episode in which caused distress to members of the public but I acceot that your behaviour was not primarily sexually motivated."

Describing the offence, procurator fiscal Graham Fraser said the incident came to light as two people drove past Marshall. He said: "They could see his trousers were down to his knees.

"When the woman looked back, he had turned on to his front and was in the press-up position on the pavement simulating sexual intercourse."

Mr Fraser said there was no evidence of children being around at the time of the offence and there was concern for his safety when he was lying on the road.

Marshall pleaded guilty to committing an offence of public indecency in Galashiels on June 17.

[Not much point in making it a Song Challenge since the Beatles already got there. However, Selkirk was the court where Walter Scott presided as a justice, so maybe something in the style of the Minstrelsy of the Scottish Border or the Lay of the Last Minstrel?