I've been looking for a while for the following text to send to you as a birthday greeting and finally found it this morning!
This seems to be the ultimate attempt to provide a PC greeting!

BIRTHDAY CELBRATION GREETINGS MESSAGE
1. Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of your chronological endurance of another annual calendar addition, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
2. May you have a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the next generally accepted calendar year duration, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures, and due regard to the race, creed, colour , age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual orientation of the recipient.
3. By accepting this greeting, you are accepting the following terms and conditions:
a) This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
b) This greeting is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting, any alteration to the intended or implied greetings may render the greeting inoperable.
c) This greeting implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
d) This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the
issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.