OK, here's a transcription from the YouTube video. (It's what I do....)


LIZA
Robin Williams

1. Now Liza wakes up early in the mornin'
Kickin' at her husband an' yellin' at her kids:
"Get up! Get out! I'm givin' you a warnin',
Or I'll give you the hoppin' fits.
Today is Monday. Tomorrow is Tuesday.
Wednesday'll soon be comin' on.
You better get up an' get movin'.
The week's half over an' the washin' ain't done."

2. Sister had a habit o' suckin' on toothpicks.
Junior had a habit of a-dippin' snuff.
Granny had a habit o' chewin' tobacco,
And she spit her juice in an ol' tin cup.
Brother Joe he chased women,
An' papa had a habit o' drinkin' wine.
Liza had a habit o' blisterin' the air
An' makin' ever' one o' them toe the line.

3. Now the other day was a terrible sight
When Liza and Cayson(?) got into a fight.
He was sneakin' down the gully with the chickens in his hands
When he ran into Liza with a butcher knife.
He grabbed that rail an' he took his stance
And he swung for to give ol' Liza a whack.
Liza did the dodge and Liza did the dance
As she cut Joe's shirt right off o' his back.

4. Now the funniest story I ever did hear,
Liza woke one night and took to her ear(?).
Out through the window in the pale moonlight,
She saw a stranger in the garden just as big as life.
She grabbed that gun an' gave the triggers a pull,
An' she fed that stranger two barrels full.
Come daylight, the people wanted to know
Who blasted down the new scarecrow.

[REPEAT VERSE 1. REPEAT LAST LINE OF VERSE 1.]