Gfs, I'd say you have done something rather remarkable here, in that I think you've clearly and vividly pictured a very high ideal for monogamous love and family life, and done so for the most part with an almost incredible lack of dicernible sentence structure. : )
The great majority of people around us are heterosexuals for whom that ideal is completely applicable. If it was typical for people today to be ingrained with that high an ideal, we would all be immeasurably better off. A lot of your ideal is also applicable to anyone raising or caring for children who aren't their's by birth. At the same time you seem to grasp the importance of holding an ideal without crucifying fallible mortals over their inability to live up to it perfectly. All this I have to respect.

A couple whom my wife has known since college were recently parted by the death of one. They had been inseparable for close to 40 years, each seeing the other through significant health problems,
job loss situations, et al. I knew one somewhat more than the other,
and know that faith was very basic to her; it may have been just as much so for the other. Anyhow, I considered both of them to be good women.

Incidentally, I read and reread you reply, and haven't been able to sort out a discernible answer to the question : )