Well ..... the test continues. Here we are some nine months on after Dad's burst abdominal aortic aneurysm, he still isn't out of the hospital, but is due to be released in a few weeks. Ciara continues to deal with her accident, and now, just yesterday, my Mother had a stroke. She is unable to talk, and is weak on her right side. It was a pretty sizable event. She drove herself to the hospital. I have been here, in the ICU, all night.

I must admit to having a pretty hard time with all this. I know I have been crabby ..... no, a complete asshole, at times over the last few years. All I can tell you all is that I have had a series of events that just seemed to have taken the music out of me, beginning in 2004. This past year, with the loss of an aunt, an uncle, two cousins, Ciara's accident and the lost of our Terra, my Father's aneurysm and months long recovery, and now this ..... well it just takes a toll. And my mother just doesn't deserve to be saddled with this. She has spent her whole life doing for others. She is the person that the following poem could have been written about:

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.


You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.


But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.


But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple

My Mom, when invited to Grandparents day, taught the kids how to shoot spitballs. The teacher's log called her "Naughty Grandma" and it has stuck. She is a great heart, and there is nothing she would not do for others. It breaks my heart that she has to now deal with this, when she should just be enjoying herself. The truth is, she will deal with it better than I will. Because that is my mom.

So once again, with tears in my eyes, I am turning to my friends in this community for support, prayers, and good thoughts. I know I have pretty well used up my quota, but the need is great. I will sing again, but somehow I suspect it will be with a bit of sadness, and a dose of gratefullness for having my mom. But for now .....

Mick