My first car... was little and yellow and rusty as a bucket, it was My first car... my first feel of a real live automobile. Fill 'er up with oil and check the gas, Step on the pedal - let everybody pass. It didn't go fast or far; it was my first car.
My first drink... was down in the basement with my buddies, it was My first drink...my first time with a sweet red bottle of wine. Taste so funny, just made me grin, Laugh so hard till the room began to spin - And it wound up in the sink - it was my first drink.
First times ain't the best times - Sometimes they're the worst. But if times are gonna get better - There's always got to be a first.
My first kiss... was out on the back porch with my neighbor, it was My first kiss... my first taste of a teen-age, feminine lip. She closed her eyes, I closed mine, Our hearts beat fast as our young arms entwined - Then her braces chipped my tooth - it was my first smooch.
My first gig... a nineteen-seventies college-town restaurant - My first gig... sing all night for a meal and a ten dollar bill. The crowd was loud - they couldn't care less - Just made a lot of noise and stupid-ass requests - Alice Cooper was big - at my first gig.
And if this here is the first time you've ever heard me sing, Well, stick around - it might get better - First times don't mean a thing.