I found this email sent to me from one of her SCA friends. I removed his surname to protect his crusty image.

Evening Tamara,

I wanted to speak with you but could not muster the courage or the emotional fortitude to do so. For that I apologize but being her mom I feel that you understand.

Francesca and I had a very quiet, deep, and private friendship. To look at us you would never expect it which was a big part of the fun with us. This small beautiful young songbird and a weathered crusty leathersmith....odd combination but we fit well with each other. I always called her my brat for her relentless teasing and pestering of me which she took great pride in doing not to mention carrying that title...*smiles*

I am a very quiet and closed person when dealing with the public at general. I have a fair amount of acquaintances but just a hand full of friends. Your daughter was one of those friends, when we first met she was hesitant to speak to me at all. I have a rather gruff demeanor and air about me which I will honestly say I use to my advantage in keeping people at a distance. She was not fooled though, she walked through my walls to my heart like she was taking a stroll in a garden. Once there she sat down, made herself home and dared me to kick her out...whichI couldn't or wouldn't do.

She gave me such light in my own dark moods, we always sought each other out at events or at the parties we had at Bryce's or Balynar's. She always had either that warm generous smile or that impish grin depending on her mood or intent for me. We used to hug alot for the warmth of a fellow understanding heart and the unconditional love we held for each other. At an event in North Carolina back in 2003 we were sitting at my booth selling my leatherwares and bantering back and forth like we usually did. We were like fire and gasoline most times...each taking on the role that best suited us at the moment...sometimes she would be the fire (instigator) and me the gasoline....*grins* Well we were sitting there trading jokes at each others extent ignoring the customers when we hear a young girl ask a question that we missed in our bantering. When I apologize to the young girl and ask her to repeat the question she said 'Oh no problem, I was gonna wait until you were done arguing with your daughter.... *laughs*.... Andie laughed so hard she fell off the stump she was sitting on which made her erupt into deeper laughs and snorting. She laughed so hard because she was 21 and I was 35 at the time.

She protected me from myself when my hot Irish temper would get the best of me. One of very few people that could deflate me with a smile or by just looking at me and saying Erindahl!! She would sit with me at the parties or gatherings at events and Pennsic because she new i hated crowds and dislikedbeing around so many people I didn't know. She would come and sit next to me, lace her hand in the crook of my elbow, put her head on my shoulder and quietly sing to me quelling my moods and anxiety...*smiles*

She had such a turbulent stormy heart that she hid from alot of people but she let me see it and I tried to always be a shoulder for her to rant on or just rest. She gave out so much Light to people without a thought or even realizing she did so I think. She gave it out so nonchalantly like a person would give another a glass of water. The generosity in which she touched others and gave of herself knew no bounds. Oh but her temper...*laughs* did she ever have a temper. She would come up to me and ask me 'Erindahl, would you beat up someone for me?' Even knowing she was joking I would stand up and she would say something like....'I was just kidding!! really! I forgot who I was talking too' There was nothing I would not do for her and I can take comfort that she knew that. Our hearts were very similar in that they were of the Arts.....those hers was of sound and mine was of the hand we looked at things and life in very much the same way.

She touched my life in so many ways, I just wanted you to know a little of our relationship. I cherished our time together as we lived it and I cherish it now that it is a gift I will have forever. A part of her light I will always carry inside to keep me from going too far astray in my own personal shadows. I loved her dearly and always will....just knowing that in this often screwed up, sometimes dark, and ugly world a person like her existed. And I was lucky enough and blessed to have her share some years with me.

Life to you,

Darren N (surname removed for this post)
(Erindahl - SCA persona)