You have been spiritually beating yourself up for all these years, when your dear daughter has been wrapped tight around you, loving you all that time...never letting you go.
We are all here for an allotted time, and there is *nothing* on this earth that can change that, (Richard, you and Jacqui come into this big hug, too)
Your daughter is a very Special Spirit.
I have never believed that what we so strangely call 'death' is the end of 'life', it is but a small step into the next part of everything, much as being born is. I also believe that we are surrounded by souls who love us from the moment we take that next step, and never left alone, ever.
She was given to you and you know how blessed you were to have her, to have each other. Andie will always be yours. You will always be her mother, she will always be your daughter, and every single year from now on you should have the most glorious celebration of your Beautiful Andie's life and the love she had inside her.
What an incredible lass she sounds! :0) Her love of everything creative, there right from the start in so many things she did...She lived her life to the full and I'm sure she had a great time. You can see how many people she touched, and how deeply she touched them too. How wonderful is that? Invite them all, and let rip, Tam! Everyone can come with brightly coloured hair...A Rainbow Hair Party. :0)
Oh, to sit here and watch you unfolding, letting out that pain, and seeing it turn into such love, to actually physically see the healing beginning to happen, the love POURING out of you right now. absolute magic! And Tam, guess what? I've also no doubts at all that your Andie is right beside you as you've been writing all of this, smiling, grinning her beautiful pixie grin, with her soul wrapped tight around her Mum once again, so happy that finally you're able to see that she's OK, that she's safe, and that she's with you and the no part of this was your fault, but just as it was all meant to be.
Andie will *always* be with you, Sweet Lady..and as Mick has said earlier, your posts, thoughts, humour and intelligence are an absolute joy and inspiration to read at times...It's brilliant to know that your Andie is so like her dear Mum.
This has to be one of the most special threads on Mudcat, because we're all witnessing something very beautiful happening here..
Happy Birthday, Andie..and a very Happy Birthday to you Tam, because this is the first year when the new Birth of Andie has started, and still you are her mother, but you're finally learning to hold her tight in a different way, learning to hold her in your heart, without guilt, without blame, only with Pure Love.
Absolute Oodles of Love coming your way. And right now, I'm off to put a sparkly flower in my hair, in honour of your Andie, because today she is SPARKLING furiously! :0)
So, Tam, this is for You and Andie, on your very, very special day....Andie's Day. ((((xxxx))))
"Don't argue amongst yourselves Because of the loss of me I'm sitting amongst yourselves Don't think you can't see me Don't argue amongst yourselves Because of the loss of me I haven't gone anywhere but out of my body
Reach out and you'll touch me Make effort to speak to me Call out and you'll hear me Be happy for me
Don't argue amongst yourselves Because of the loss of me I haven't gone anywhere but out of my body
Reach out and you'll touch me Make effort to speak to me Call out and you'll hear me Be happy for me"