NEWFIE QUEEN
(Ellis Coles)

Have you ever heard a love song that you could not understand?
Have you ever rode the Carson off the coast of Newfoundland?
Have you ever gone ashore in a little Newfie town,
And see a little Newfie girl with her panties hanging down?

Well, I fucked her in a dory. I fucked her on the shore.
When we were at the altar, I heard she was a whore.
Now my wet dreams aren't worth dreamin', and the sheets are turnin' green,
And the crabs are takin' over since I met that Newfie queen.

Well, I fucked her in a dory, in the rain sleet and snow.
As the wind did rock the dory, my cock went up her hole.
She said, "Please take it down from there." I said, "Honey, that's no harm.
Since I am a fisherman, any port will do in a storm."

Did you ever chew a woman, when her cunny began to smell,
And the stink would burn your eyeballs; you'd have to stop a spell?
I said, "Honey, your cunny stinks, dear. What a dirty bugger you are!"
She said, "You keep on chewin' and I'll get a wash da mar."

Well I...
Chewed her standin' up. I chewed her lyin' down.
You could plainly see her asshole. It was so nice and round.
With a ring of shit all around it, it had a deep brown crust.
On her cunny li'l white pimples, each one of them filled with pus.

Have you ever sucked a festered tit, with her nipples all covered in scabs?
Have you ever ate a bowl of soup made of diarrhea and crabs?
Drink weasel piss from a Pepsi straw? suck snots from an elephant's nose?
Eat polar-bear shit from a Popsicle stick while it was cold and froze?

Have you ever seen a woman take a shit upon the grass?
You can plainly see the balls o' shit hangin' off her ass.
With a ring of shit all around it, it had a deep brown crust,
Surrounded in white pimples, each one filled with pus.

Did you ever have a Newfie girl to have a li'l fun,
And fucked her till her ass and cunt was all tore out in one?
And every time her gun went, she'd open her legs a bit,
And from her ass came a steady stream, a mixture of spunk and shit.

I was with one when her gun went. She sprawled abroad her toes.
From her cunny there came white bubbles; green snots came from her nose;
And from her ass came blue-flame gas that slightly burned my bag.
Three boils burst on her belly and the puss rannnnnnnnnnnnn doooowwwwwwwnnnnnn her leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeggggggggggggggggggg.


There's one more verse but I can't remember all of it....

Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da....
You could plainly see her asshole, it was so nice and round.
Da da da da da da da da ...all around her ol' cunt door.
That's cheese from the fisherman's foreskin that fucked her the night before.