Midchuck, I'm glad for you - truly! Reminds me of when we used to take our twins out when they were small, to restaurants and suchlike, and people struggling with their one child would all suddenly feel SO much better that at least they only had one!

DougR, best of luck - what I did was join the Alliance Française here in Cville, where I have met several nice people, including the one who sparked my starting this thread. Who had basically joined the same club for the same reason, to meet people. This is also one of the reasons I joined the Mudcat - I'd never joined a social club before, and wanted a "dry run" - and I liked the people I've "met" "here" so much, it gave me the courage to join this other club where I'd actually have to see people, and have them see me. I think the Mudcat just helped me relax when attempting, for the first time in 10+ years, to develop any friendship outside my large family or small firm. Another Reason Why The Mudcat Is For Me.

However, although I thank you all for your advice and wish I dared follow it, I still have fear of honesty, because it is definitely my experience that Americans are weird and puritanical (IN GENERAL, THOSE I'VE MET, HEDGE HEDGE HEDGE - I SAID MY "EXPERIENCE") about s*x. And if I come out of that closet and let the other person know just how very very much I'd like to jump straight in the sack and figure the rest of it out later, the other will run away in fear. So I do find myself being cagey... since I don't consider it dishonest to hide SOME of one's feelings... I haven't lied about anything yet, I just avoid asking anything that smacks of assuming anything for the future ("taking for granted") despite the fact that I DO assume - is that dishonest? Not in my ethos - what about yours? And I have to find out if this one sings or plays or anything - I already know about the gourmet cooking AND NO YOU CAN'T, HANDS OFF THIS ONE PLEASE!