There is only need for one Country and western song - the one about the truck driver, on his way to collect his granny on her release from prison, who gives a lift to the little crippled boy who is going to the cemetary to put fowers on his mother's grave; the driver has to swerve to avoid the lame dog, who has been startled by the moonshine drinking town drunk, crashes through the level crossing barriers and causes a train wreck.
This would get the whole sorry mess over and done with in one go !