Thanks for bringing my attention to this one.

The Library of Congress has the sheet music. The lyrics are different in some minor ways from the version in the DT, so I'll insert a corrected copy here:


McSORLEY'S TWINS
Gus Phillips
New York: C. H. Ditson & Co., 1885.

1. Arrah! Mrs. McSorley had fine, purty twins.
Two fat little divils they were.
Wid shquallin' and bawlin' from mornin' till night,
It would deafen you, I do declare.
Be me sowl 'twas a caution the way they would shcrame,
Like the blast of a fisherman's horn.
Says McSorley, "Not one blessed hour have I shlept
Since thim two little divils was born."

CHORUS: Wid the beer and the whiskey the whole blessed night,
Faith, they couldn't stand up on their pins.
Such an illigant time at the christenin' we had
Of McSorley's most beautiful twins.

2. Says Mrs McSorley, "A christenin' we'll have,
Just to give me two darlin's a name."
"Faith, we will," says McSorley. "Sure one they must get,
Something grand, to be course, for that same."
Thin for godmothers, Kate and Mag Murphy stood up,
And for godfathers came the two Flynns.
Johanna Maria and Diagnacious O'Mara
Were the names that they christened the twins.

3. Whin the christenin' was over, the company begun
Wid good whiskey to fill up their shkins,
And the neighbors kem in just to wish a good luck
To McSorley's most beautiful twins.
Whin ould Mrs. Mullins had drank all her punch,
Faith, her legs wouldn't howld her at all.
She fell flat on her shtomach on top av the twins,
And they sot up a murtherin' shquall.

4. Thin Mrs. McSorley jumped up in a rage,
And she threatened Miss Mullinses life.
Says ould Denny Mullins, "I'll bate the firsht man
That'd dar lay a hand on me wife!"
The McGanns and the Geoghans they had an ould grudge,
And Mag Murphy pitched into the Flynns.
They fought like the divil, turned over the bed,
And they shmothered the poor little twins.

[There's another copy of this song, with musical score, in College Songs and Popular Ballads for Guitar arranged by Emma Schubert, et al. (Boston: Oliver Ditson Company, 1888).]