and yet, it brings with it a richness, because life is never quite the same again,

Sorry for the non music interlude but, Have you been there in any way, Lizzie? I think we all react differently to these things, although I do belive life is never quite the same again.

Mine was not the first drink episode where I fitted and was rushed into hospital but the second episode where I'd given up on everything including life itself.

It's quite weird looking around a room, seeing all your possessions, eg. mandolin and not being able (though at one time I could on a litre of spirit!) to play it, to look around it all and ponder its worthlessness to me.

I didn't come out of that one with a richness but it was my second (the first was putting my faith in music and finding that wash away when I fell in lust with another musician... music and my dedication to some extent left me [genuinely, once I think I could have become "good" instead of a "get by" session hacker], it was never the same after a breakdown and a trip to a mental hospital) sort of major brush with (OK, my beliefs) building a house on the sand.

I feel poorer for it but maybe one day it will all make sense. Maybe not...