I think the landlady would beat me to a pulp if I got my snout anywhere near... No! Enough said already!

I think a moat would be good. Maybe we could have the staff divert the Mersey. Dave might have something to say about that though...

Some of the stranger claims have been for manure, cat food, jellied eels, ginger nuts and an edible Father Christmas. Just imagine the sort of pagan celebratory remnants we could reinvigorate at the Beech with a set of props like those... The mind flickers.