A guy sent me one of those smarmy emails and I couldn't resist:

Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. She
didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands.

When I sat down beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence and
the longer I sat I wondered if she was OK

Finally, not really wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on
her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head
and looked at me and smiled. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking,"
she said in a clear voice strong.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, grandma, but you were just sitting
here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK," I
explained to her.

"Have you ever looked at your hands," she asked. "I mean really
looked at your hands? I mean, like, really, really, you know, like LOOKED at your hands? They're like, really really cool, you know?"

Gently I looked at grandma and said, "You been smokin' that weed again, haven't you? Well, pass it over here."