Wile E. Coyote

I know not why these allegations have been made against me. I am no friend nor consort of this Reynard person. Sounds a perfect rake to me.

As to the feathered desert racer, Beep Beep in deed! My only intention in haranguing the little twit is to mmove him comfortable distance from my digs. Tell me how you might cope this with dangerous speed demon and his constant Beep beeping at all hours?

Unfortunately, all my plans have been hitherto unsuccessful, due primarily to products purchased from ACME (All Rotten & Malfunctioning Equipment). I am currently in litigation with said company for serious Health and Safety breeches.

Now, if you will excuse me, I seemed to lost my papers down the magically disappearing
         

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                  aaggghhhh...[splat]