Friend of mine went into a drugstore and asked for a condom. "What size?" asked the druggist. "I dunno. How do I find out?" my friend replied.

"Well, out back is an old wooden fence. There are knotholes with numbers above them. Just slip it into the knotholes and tell me the number of the one that fits." And my friend went out back.

Upstairs, the druggist's daughter was feeling extremely frisky. She saw my friend go out, knew what was going on, and quickly dashed downstairs to stand behind each hole.

Sometime later my friend went back inside. "Well," asked the druggist, "what size condom do you want?"

"Condom, hell!" my friend said dreamily. "Gimme a hundred yards of that fence."