The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418 Message #2651003
Posted By: Little Hawk
07-Jun-09 - 10:36 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Strange. It seems that four gorillas drowned last night in the waters off Chicago after a "boating accident". A fisherman claims to have seen an odd submersible vehicle of some unknown kind leaving the area at high speed shortly after hearing an explosion. It was reputedly being driven by a dark-haired woman with goggles who could be seen in the glass enclosed pilot's position on the top of the odd craft, and it had another woman in scuba gear clinging to the rear deck and a chimpanzee standing in a bathtub lashed to the deck beside her. They were embracing.
The police have dismissed the fisherman's claims as the ravings of a drunken idiot who was hallucinating due to having consumed far too much whisky in lieu of catching any fish. He is being charged with causing a public nuisance.
Three of the four drowned gorillas appear to have been members of the famed North Side Gorillas gang. The fourth hales from Harvey and is reputed to also be a gang member with a long record of crimes including illicit banana dealing and armed robbery. It is assumed that they were attempting to illegally dynamite fish, but accidentally set off a charge either in their own boat or too near to it.
A funeral will be held at Shady Acres Crematorium on June 14. Black tie only. Expect no lemurs or chimps to attend.