Many people ask me where I get these stories. I always tell them that everyone hears them, but not everyone remembers or are able to repeat them years later.

Ok, another true one.
Some years ago I attended the wedding of an old friend who is also a humorist. I was standing outside the church listening to people talk, and there was a man of small stature standing there with a drink in this hand. Suddenly, his wife came to him and said, "You know, that the state of Maine just lowered the limit of blood/alcohol from .10 to .08 and that one drink will put you over the limit."

A look of feigned horror crossed his face and he said to me, "I have to go and put on some weight."

Absolutely true story.