Helen, there will be strings that work for your guitar that are better than others. Of course I don't need to tell you that you have to hunt for them. Once you find them, that solves the problem. If lights or x-tra lights work for you, then that's solved.

It would be advantageous for you to record your guitar. At least you would have a better
idea of its sound provided you use decent recording equipment.

A lot of this talk of strings is highly subjective. There are no real valid principles involved.
It depends on the instrument. You might inquire as to what the maker of the guitar would suggest. They build the instrument to their specifications and know what they want to bring out.

Strings do differ.

As to the action, be comfortable with it. Motivation for practice depends on this.
There are differing levels of strength in the fingers and levels of dexterity which are
in part hereditable. I am totally convinced there is a guitar gene for virtuosity.

The most important factor is that you enjoy the sounds you are making.

Frank