Saturday, May 23


9:42 a.m. — At the station, a lady reports that a gentleman against whom she has a no contact order, yelled oxymoronically, "Don't worry, I won't say anything," as they passed in Walmart.

2:00 p.m. — Police track down a suspected DWI, swerving all over Ten Rod Road. There was indeed a drink problem. A kid had dropped a milkshake in the vehicle.

6:35 p.m. — A six-foot tall bald man is running on Ten Rod Road with his pants undone. Police are there in a flash but see nothing.

8:17 p.m. — A lady is refusing to let a gentleman leave a room at Hi-Vu Motor Inn and has reportedly shoved him. During a second call, during which the man gains his freedom, dispatch hears "Bring me the money you owe me," yelled, while a door slams. Liberated, the man no longer cares about the shove.

9:21 p.m. — A man, possibly from the Lone Star State, calls to report a message he received from Rochester in which someone threatens to shoot him in the head and (redundantly) push his wheelchair off a cliff. He is advised to contact police in Victoria, Texas, whereupon he says he will ask the FBI to get involved.

Sunday, May 24

9:49 a.m. — In the lobby, a man reports that a friend punched him in the face, threw him downstairs and kicked him out of his own apartment. Fortunately, enemies were not involved.

11:37 p.m. — On Cove Court, a man registers his distress at a breakup with his girlfriend by smashing her windows out with his fist.

Monday, May 25.

6:28 p.m. — A Brock Street woman wants her husband's friend removed, but says her husband wants his friend to stay, Drink's involved and possibly is disapproved, No prob., says friend, I'm leaving anyway.

Tuesday, May 26

12:40 p.m. — Near Walmart, a young man bedecked in jeans is holding up a sign begging for change. It is unclear if he is in poverty or a disappointed Obama supporter.

Wednesday, May 27

8:19 p.m. — On Jackson Street, a man who lent a friend money says he was given a 4-wheeler as collateral. No money has been repaid so he is trying to sell the vehicle, and is being accused by the original owner of stealing it. Police tell him to take the matter to civil court.

Thursday, May 28

3:34 p.m. — There's a sickly-looking llama in a cage down on Old Dover Road. Animal control will check on its welfare.

3:49 p.m. — There's a dead deer in the river, and it won't float off again, says an East Rochester resident. Does she have to pray for rain?

Friday, May 29

6:04 p.m. — A car is "all over the Spaulding Turnpike," and is equally erratic on Route 11. A driver emerges and "stumbles" into Walmart. Police find he is the victim of excruciating toothache.

Saturday, May 30

11:45 p.m. — A bicyclist, who says he has "a badge," quizzes citizens on Common Street. Police quiz him. He is wearing a junior officer plastic badge, and says the original complainants were giving him a hard time, asking if he was an officer.

Sunday, May 31

2:45 p.m. — A Partridge Green man says he was cleaning his gun at his living room table went it went off. Ooops!