My business's cash flow is down by at least 50% from this time last year. Accordingly, I threatened to lay myself off. I was immediately informed by myself that I would shoot me if I went ahead with the layoff. This caused me to re-assess the entire situation, and I suggested a reduction in wages to myself instead. There followed several hours of tense negotiation between I, me, and myself with the dachshund watching nervously from the side (I am his meal ticket). At last I came to an agreement that sort of satisfied both me and myself. We have mutually agreed to a reduction in wages and a massive selloff of unneeded stuff here like the keyboard, an amp, and several hundred models kit that I, me, and myself have no time to build anyway.

Things are still tense, though. I feel that I'm still paying out too much to myself...and as for me, he figures that both of us are keeping something from him. The dachshund is threatening to walk out if we cut back on HIS wages...