Many years ago, the wife of an first generation American of Scottish extraction, one Alistair Simpson, attended St. Andrew's Day festivities with his parents and her new husband. Seated near them was what used to be known as "an ample woman" with henna-red hair and a voice to match. When they piped in the haggis, Alistair whispered to his new bride that he was having none of it! The large lady, in her best burr, blurted out "Aw, come on, Alistair; it'll put lead in yer pencil!"
For some reason, they never again attended the festival in their married life.