Monday, June 1

7:41 a.m. — A suspiciously scruffy man is spotted near the Northeast Credit Union ATM. He is described as "sketchy," which could mean he looks drawn.
1:28 p.m. — Video is available showing theft of clothes from a washing machine on Signal Street. It is the thief who should now come clean.
6:24 p.m. — At the Common, a man in his 60s asked an 8-year-old for a bite of his doughnut, and then put his arm around the child and said, "Oh, you're a sweet boy," which disturbed his mother.
7:15 p.m. — At the station, a man reports being threatened by an ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend — who is texting him ominously even as he relates his fears to dispatch.
11:49 p.m. — On Ledgeview Drive, yelling and screaming is judged to be verbal in nature. Police come, police go and it erupts all over again. One lady, distraught by a boyfriend breakup, walks into a field to be alone. Police return to give everyone a final warning.
Tuesday, June 2

12:53 a.m. — Men are thought to be bawling at each other on Pine Street, but they are both yelling for a dog.
8:01 a.m. — A lady whose brown hair is tied with a yellow ribbon is knocking on doors on Ledgeview Drive. Police find she has a state permit to do so, and is linked to education, somehow.
11:04 p.m. — On Columbus avenue, a highly intoxicated man is alternatively asking ladies for a kiss and yelling at joggers. The dilemma created by female joggers is not addressed.

Wednesday, June 3
7:42 a.m. — On Old Milton Road, business flyers flit around. Police remind a businessman it is not allowed. If it happens again, other paperwork could be triggered.
5:30 p.m. — A litter complaint is made concerning an area adjacent to Route 125. It involves paper, not puppies.
6:47 p.m. — On Pine Street, a lady says that her friend Eddie has just been punched by a kid.
10:23 p.m. — An officer bags a dead cat on North Main Street. The owner arrives and grieves full sore for her pet.
10:59 p.m. — Yelling and banging is elevated to a disturbance on Harvard Street.

Thursday, June 4
3:58 a.m. — On Heaton Street, folks yell and swear, some window glass is broken, a blood trail leads to who knows where, while neighbors are all woken.
12:55 p.m. — Graffiti is found on the rear of the library building. It is regarded as criminal mischief rather than a sign of literacy.
5:47 p.m. — On Moores Court, a daughter being kicked out of the house says her mother is throwing some of her stuff in the street, but not the right stuff.
6:19 p.m. — At Wyandotte Falls, a man says he bought a rocking chair from a women in another apartment but changed his mind because it didn't look right. The woman took the chair back but didn't return the $50. Police then get a call from a woman asking them to settle a dispute about a chair. A man, perhaps he who went off his rocker, has allegedly threatened to hit her and now she fears for her life.
6:31 p.m. — The Burger King manager has a beef with a man who has a gun tucked in his waistband. Police find the pistol is properly permitted. The citizen agrees to "carry the gun properly," Burger King lets him back in and everyone is happy.
8:16 p.m. — An ongoing neighbor dispute on Eastern Avenue kicks back into life with an outbreak of swearing by a man at a woman.

Friday, June 5
12:40 a.m. — An inebriated soul in Union Street parking lot is relocated to the county farm.
8:02 p.m. — Trees are being cut down at Gonic Mill, possibly to fuel a party.
10:59 p.m. — On Pine Street, people are drinking noisily. Slurping or worse?

Saturday, June 6
12:29 a.m. — On Pine Street, Ryan Reason, 23, of 23 Pinecrest Drive, Somersworth is charged with being a suspicious subject and arrested on a bench warrant. This comes in the wake of a report about a man urinating on a truck.
2:02 a.m. — In the station lobby, a man reports that someone who threatened him in Slim's has followed up with a sinister message on MySpace.
10:21 a.m. — A blue Volvo comes into a Washington Street driveway, a man yells at the house, and then takes off.
10:38 a.m. — On Strafford Road, a ride-on mower has been ridden off.
1:21 p.m. — Someone is stuck in the police station elevator. Her name is kept secret.
2:51 p.m. — On Heaton, some folks yell and swear, when throats get parched they chug some beer.
10:54 p.m. — Fireworks are fired on Lafayette.

Sunday, June 7
12:23 p.m. — Ladies fight on Margaret Street. One is punched in the face. The other is shoved to the ground and stays down for the count.
10:26 a.m. — A Myrtle Street man reports a woman "acting crazy" has broken his window.
12:40 p.m. — Fifteen fellows fight on Charles. The instigator is described as (no surprises) shirtless.
5:02 p.m. — A Dry Hill Road man, locked out of his home by a mortgage company, obtains official access to discover it has been ransacked and his gun collection has been stolen.