RECIPE FOR PARBOILED LIZARD PERSON

Skin and gut lizard person

Allow lizard person to hang from tree overnight until all ichor is drained

Fill old cast-iron bathtub with water and bring to a full boil

Throw lizard person into boiling water and boil for three hours

Remove lizard person from water, discard water, refill bathtub, repeat boiling process for another three hours

Remove lizard person from water and discard water

Discard lizard person

Eat bathtub