During my first marriage my husband had affairs when I was pregnant with my second and third child. His second mistress decided she wanted to keep him and that ended the marriage.

My second husband had an affair with an old girlfriend while working away from home. That was the end of that marriage.

18 years into my third marriage I found I had strong feelings for another man. I tried to fight the feelings but, in the end, came to the conclusion that I could no longer stay in that marriage. There was never any chance of a relationship with the other guy, who is still a friend, but I could not stay in a marriage when I had those kind of feelings.

I know, from experience, how devastating it can be to find that the person to whom you have made a commitment is breaking a vow. It takes quite a while to get past that and can leave one feeling diminished and trying to work out where they went wrong and what they could have done to prevent this happening. the answer, of course, in usually nothing.

My own view is that, if a new relationship is so important then the existing relationship should be ended before beginning a new one. If it isn't that important then what the hell are you doing, risking what you have just for the sake of a fling? Just my opinion, of course.