In adjudicating the compromise made by those who make a vow and later break it, the firt thing you have to understand is the actual dynamics in he equation. Human individual decisions run deeper than any code that can be writ or recited as a series of principles. This does not make them less valuable as principles, but of you do not have some insight into the actual pressures in play you will not understand; if you do not understand, you will not forgive; and if you do not forgive, you will not meet the person on their own ground on which the decisions are immediately and genuinely made. A wife can let her own distress produce sharp language that in turn doubles that distress in her husband; but that language can be forgotten while the force it produces goes on to create tragedy. And vice-versa.

Full ownership of those things one has done is no easy challenge to throw out to someone.   To place it before another require understanding what you are asking, not a superficial recitation.

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