I don't trust people who never touch alcohol, Ebbie. ;-D

But here's what you don't know. When I was growing up we practiced vegetarianism and veganism, so as not to harm or exploit any of our fellow sentient beings, and we travelled around the yard suspended by helium balloons so as not to step on any little insects. We wore gauze face masks so as not to breathe in gnats, and we NEVER swatted mosquitos, but were happy to share our blood with the little darlings.

Furthermore, I got up at 5 AM every day and walked fifteen miles before breakfast, taking great care again to watch and not step on insects, of course!

I and my fifteen adopted brothers and sisters who came from every visible minority group possible used to hold "brotherhood and sisterhood" seminars to which all the local children were invited, and there we helped them rise above the evils of racism, sexism, and all other forms of prejudice by reading from various spiritual and ethical texts and telling parables that encouraged equality and tolerance.

No homeless animal, stranger or alien was ever turned away from our humble little door. One time when an alien vehicle from Andromeda crashed in our backyard we sheltered the injured crew for 2 weeks and helped them rebuild their vessel which we camouflaged with papier-mache so that it looked like a children's playset of Swiss Mountains, like from "The Sound of Music". They were so grateful that they went back to their home planet and cancelled their scheduled upcoming invasion of Planet Earth, since we were just too nice to invade!

The fact is, Ebbie, you and every other human being on Earth owe your lives and liberty to the selfless actions of me and my family back in 1959.

Beat that, sistah! ;-D