Stories...

Many years ago, one of our local pubs was owned and run by two gay guys - who loved the odd lock-in and were great fun.

At one of the lock-ins, the company felt the need for a sing-song round a piano in the old traditional way. But the pub had no piano, so... we went down the High Street to the house of one of the locals, woke him up and demanded the use of his piano. We got it out of the house, pushed it down the road on its casters and got it into the pub. After pouring several pints of beer into it, it seemed to be tuned up - and served us very well into the small hours of the morning.

At around the same time, the church bell tower was being renovated and, one hot Saturday afternoon, the ladders had been left propped against the tower wall. One of the local lads and his girlfriend were returning from a session in the pub and were passing the church. Seeing the ladders there, and feeling a little randy - what with the sun and the beer - they climbed up the ladder, shed their clothes with a light heart, and set about making the beast with two backs. Halfway through the fun and games, the vicar decided to check on building process, climbed the ladder and caught them in flagrante delicto - which resulted, rather unfortunately, in coitus interruptus. They were duly summoned before the church elders and asked to apologise for their behaviour. which they duly did - and got their revenge by testifying against the said vicar some months later at the Consistory Court. They were caught with trousers down - but he was unfrocked...