My body doesn't like alcohol, despite me telling it that it should; but on recent results, mine's a single malt please!

Anyway, there's fewer calories in spirits...

I got a badge which says "Old Fart's Wife". I used to wear it with pride! You should have seen the look on his face when I first put it on.
As regards farting: I have the added benefit of living alone most of the time!

Andrea