We had the Mariposa Folk Festival in Orillia, Ontario this past weekend, and it was great! Buffy Sainte-Marie was the headliner, doing the final set in typical fine style and with a new album to sell. Boy, she looks amazing for a woman in her late 60s.

Lots of other extraordinary musicians were there to be seen as well, some virtuoso-level performances...but the biggest surprise of all for me was to see Officer Jennifer Dana of the O.P.P. among the small contingent of police officers watching over the festival.

Immaculate in her spit and polish uniform, Officer Dana cut a fine figure as she always does...tall, blond, and beautiful, with that steely look lurking behind her cool blue eyes that tells you not to mess with the law when this gal is on patrol! Yikes. Some people just look great in uniform. I wanted to go and ask for her autograph, but I resisted the impulse. You shouldn't really bother them when they're on duty.

Then I noticed a shabby and hirsute figure trailing about in a dirty lumberjack shirt, tattered jeans, lumberjack boots, and a backwards baseball cap with the slogan "I'm FLIPPIN' Easy, Eh?...Apply Directly Below!" printed on it. It was none other than my old buddy, Shane McBride.

Well, I sat down with Shane for a bit over at the open stage, just before doing a 20 minute set there, and caught up on things. It seems he had hitched rides down from Blind River, mostly so he could see Jennifer Dana on duty and also catch some good bands at Mariposa. But he was disappointed by the lineup.

"Who the flip ARE these people?" he said, shaking his head. "What the flip kind of music show IS this? I was hopin' to see stuff like AC-DC, Ozzie, Black Sabbath, The Filthy Habits *(all-girl punk band that dress up like nuns in fishnet stockings), Hell's Harvest, Marylin Manson, The Dirty Minds, Torture Chamber...."

"You have to give it a chance," I said. "Look, would Jenny Dana be here if it was a BAD show? Would she, man? Think about it."

That made him think twice.

Well, an hour later I saw Shane over at the Estelle Klein stage watching an amazing workshop with Royal Wood, Buffy Sainte-Marie, Guy Davis, Basia Bulat and assorted other musicians doing a series of superb performances, and he was transfixed. I actually saw tears in the lad's eyes. There was a little area of bare grass all around Shane as the other audience members seemed to find his immediate proximity a bit too...fragrant. Anyway, he was truly enjoying the music.

I think Shane has finally become at least a part-time folkie. He has learned to love roots music and girls in tie-die clothing, specially the latter.

Later in the evening after Buffy did the closing set I found Shane hunkered down over at the beer tent. I don't know where he got the money to buy drinks, but the boy was plastered, and he was entertaining a small crowd of enthusiastic people by doing the "chicken dance" on one of the tables. Around about midnight there was a big commotion. Shane had been cut off from further drinking by the management and was asked to leave. When he refused, the cops were called. By the time they arrived, Shane had started tearing off all his clothing. He was threatening to stage a nude protest demonstration if he couldn't get more drinks.

"NO WAY! NO WAY!" chanted the crowd as Shane pulled his grotty T-shirt off over his head and began slowwwwwwly unzipping his jeans...

He was just pulling them down when three cops, one of them the disgusted looking Jennifer Dana, descended upon him like linebackers on a squirming quarterback at a championship game. A desperate struggle ensued as the crowd clapped, stomped, cheered, and threw empty plastic glasses.

Two minutes later Shane was dragged away screaming, "I done it all for LOVE, Jennifer! MARRY ME! I AM YER ONE AND ONLY MAN! I AM YER LOVER BOY!"

Poor Officer Dana! She looked tight-lipped, humiliated, and mad enough to bite the end off a nine iron. The other cops were attempting to keep straight faces, but not quite succeeding. They kept trying to smother sudden outbursts of laughter.

Shane seeme to have been taken to the local lockup.

Nothing like this has happened at Mariposa since the early 60s. I sure hope it doesn't cause the town council to stop hosting the festival again, like they did back in...'61, was it? That would be a tragedy.

The 50th Anniversay is next year, eh? I wonder if Shane will be there? If so, I wonder if he'll be provided with a special police escort to ensure that nothing goes awry? I hope so.