I have this irrational fear of being caught in a shootout between rival gangs or terrorists or drunken slobs on the opening day of deer season. It's not the shooting that bothers me, it's the idea of my perfect body being perforated by nasty old bullets and being left
a messy corpse.

I also have a fear of being hung, drawn, and quartered and that's why I haven't spent as much time in England as in Ireland. Many people don't know it, but I knocked up Elizabeth I and she swore to "get me" for knocking her up at 5 a.m.