This version is found in Passing the Time in Ballymenone by Henry H. Glassie (Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 1995):


PAT MOLLOY
From the singing of Peter Flanagan

Pat Molloy, an Irish boy, he came from County Clare.
He thought he'd go to London to see the wonders there.
And Pat bid all his friends goodbye and he kissed his colleen dear.
He left the sod, he did begob, and he never shed a tear.

When Pat went to this country, it filled him with surprise.
The looks of this big city fairly dazzled Paddy's eyes.
Pat was going on quite early, meditating to himself,
When he met with a ragged cockney with a donkey selling Delft.

This ill-bred ragged cockney could not let Paddy pass,
Saying, "Why don't you speak to your brother?", pointing over to the ass.
"Ah, begob!" says Pat. "I didn't think I had a brother here,
But I will go over and whisper into the donkey's ear."

In whispering to the donkey, what do you think did Paddy do?
He dropped in a chew of tobacco; he did, begob, it's true.
The animal he went mad, crack-crazy, straight and square,
Upset the little cart and broke all the earthenware.

This ill-bred ragged cockney ran to get poor Pat in charge,
Saying, "You little Irish vagabond, you should not be at large."
"Get off with you," says Paddy, looking at him with a smile.
"Do you think you'll make an ass of me when I come from Erin's isle?"

It was up before the magistrate poor Pat had to go next day,
And for to prove his innocence, he didn't know what to say.
"Come here now," says the magistrate. "We want no nonsense here,
And tell us every word you whispered into the donkey's ear."

"I told the ass," says Paddy, "he had got the wrong address.
Noble old Ireland was no longer in distress.
We got rid of all the landlords and the country to ourselves we had,
And when this animal heard the news, bejeebers, he went mad."

The magistrate sat laughing, and they all hung down their heads.
They could not keep from laughing when they heard what Paddy said.
"Well done, well done," said the magistrate. "What a clever chap you are!
And for your clever answer, we'll dismiss you from the bar."