He's gone from us forever,
Our darling blue eyed boy,
Cockeyed darling we will see no more.
He gently passed away
On the 93 of May.
He never died so suddenly before.

We knew he was dying
By the freckles on his chest,
His eyeballs dragging in the mud.
The doctor said the only way
To save poor Willie's life
Was to stop the circulation of the blood.

No more would he tease poor pussycat.
No more between his teeth would he chew its tail. (Gnash, gnash)
No more push its nose up agin a red hot stone,
Our darling brother Willie's kicked the pail.

Well, we gently bathed his head
With a pot of boiling lead,
Then we laid poor Willie down to rest.
Robbers came that night
But they burgled without a light
And stole the mustard plaster of his chest.

We filled his mouth with glue,
Thinking this would bring him to,
But again all our efforts were in vain.
For all we heaved and tried,
He just heaved a sigh and died,
Sneezed and blowed his nose and died again.

He's gone for evermore
At the age of 94.
Nothing in this world could save his life.
The family all agree,
And left it up to me,
I'm the one who has to tell his wife.