Again, from the Rochester (NH) Times:

ROCHESTER — The following items, based on entries in the Rochester Police Log, were selected from 787 calls for service from July 4 to July 7:

Saturday, July 4

12:45 a.m. — On Charles Street, a teenage girl is jumped and assaulted by a large, masked lady.
8:28 a.m. — On King Street, a stray dog is described by a single word — scruffy.
12:08 p.m. — The pastor of the Journey Church reports that one member of the congregation has broken off a relationship with another. The latter has threatened to attend a Sunday service "and kill everyone." This church sponsored the fireworks on July 3.
8:54 p.m. — Bottle rockets woosh on Estes Road.
9:30 p.m. — At Royal Crest MHP, a lady is crawling on the road, accompanied by someone who seems to be crippled. A resident asks after their welfare and they explain they are pie-eyed with drink
10:06 p.m. — Fireworks spark fear and loathing on East Rochester's Main Street.
10:22 p.m. — A Rochester Hill Road resident reports two ladies barged into her house and searched closets for items belonging to her ex-boyfriend.
11:49 p.m. — Music drifting through woods, reaches irritated ears on Kinsale Drive. A Nottingham Lane resident is spoken to.

Sunday, July 5
1:09 a.m. — From Congress, comes the report of a loud party in the white house. Settle down, Obama.
5:29 a.m. — On Juniper Street, a man near a mailbox yells to the homeowner that it is a good thing he doesn't have his baseball bat.
6:59 a.m. — Near Staples, a slender, curly blonde, dressed in a black skirt and matching jacket, is panhandling.
3:03 p.m. — At Walmart, a pickup hauling a boat is blocking the main entrance to the food side, and the driver is refusing to move and let other cars enter.
3:12 p.m. — A homeless man is not wanted on a North Main Street porch.
3:49 p.m. — The manager of Dollar Tree on Milton Road reports he has a woman irked by a return policy. A woman calls to allege Dollar Tree would not take her food stamps and that she was called a bitch and had items thrown at her.
5:16 p.m. — On North Main Street, the homeless person has returned to his perch on the porch.
8:56 p.m. — On Copper Lane dogs bark all day, when coppers come, they've gone away.
9:07 p.m. — On Lafayette Street, a "house is shooting off fireworks."
9:21 p.m. — At Northgate Apartments, males yell at females. There is reciprocity.

Monday, July 6

1:13 a.m. — The homeless person is asleep on the North Main Street porch. He is woken up and "moved along. "
2:56 a.m. — At the Route 125 Motel, disciples of Bacchus are hushed up. One is taken into protective custody for alcoholism.
5:11 a.m. — On Copper Lane, the dogs are back, howling, woofing, yack, yack, yack.
8:35 p.m. — At the construction site on Route 125, a lady dressed in a yellow tank top and shorts is "freaking out on something." Second and third callers assert she can barely stand.
8:57 p.m. — Fireworks snap, crackle and pop at Cold Spring Manor in defiance of management policy.
10:10 p.m. — On Wilson Street, a man in the middle of the road is either having a medical emergency or is drunk.
11:10 p.m. — Folks yell and scream on Quaker Lane.

Tuesday, July 7

10:14 a.m. — The art shoe in front of City Hall, the one purchased by VFW Post 1772, has been vandalized. AMVETS Post 1 members are in the clear.
11:26 a.m. — A mother reports her young daughter was threatened by a man during the Salvation Army lunch program..
9:04 p.m. — A large tattooed man — a 300-pounder — is hitching on Portland Street and "when you don't stop he jumps out at you."