I like turning incorrectly dialed numbers into entertainment. A recent one went like this ;
Woman : can I speak to Sandra please.
Me : no - you've just missed her.
Woman : Oh - where is she ? She's supposed to be coming here tonight for dinner with her father and I.
Me : Weeeellll - she doesn't really want us to tell you.
Woman : why not ? ( voice getting edgy )
Me : Well - she said you wouldn't understand.
Woman : Understand what ? ( getting louder )
Me : okay - okay I guess it doesn't matter that you know now that she's gone away for a year.
Woman : Gone away for a bloody year ! Where to ?
Me : Well - all her friends saw her off today on a research ship that sailed for Antarctica.
Woman : Antarctica !!! What's she doing there ?
Me : studying penguins.
Woman : penguins ! she doesn't know a bloody thing about penguins.
Me : yeah - we know, and all her friends are very concerned.
Woman : concerned ?
Me : yeah - an attractive girl on the ice for 12 months with all those penguins and you know what they say about penguins ?
Woman : what ?
Me : you've seen one - you've seen them all.
Woman : who are you ?
Me : John.
Woman : do you know my daughter ?
Me : no.
Woman : everything you've said is a lie, isn't it ?
Me : yes.
Woman : my husband won't believe this. Whenever I'm feeling low can I ring you again ?
Me : of course.

Another time I told a bloke his girlfreind had gone to work on a prawn trawler for 6 months with a crew of sex-starved fishermen. He nearly fainted.

Its endless - whatever comes into my mind I just run with it.

JG / FME