I posted this one time before but this was the best practical joke ever played on me:

Brothers

As I get older, I find that I spend more and more time thinking about the past.   It could just be a longing for a simpler time in life, or the deep desire to revisit the joys of my youth. Perhaps it is because I old and cannot remember anything current like where I left my car keys. I am not really sure what the reasons are, but I find that I think about my youth and my brother many times.

My brother is a wonderful man; he is a devoted husband and father with three beautiful daughters. He is smart, talented and funny.   He is also, with perhaps the exception of myself, the craziest person I have ever known.   

We spent a childhood laughing. Between he and my cousin, there were no dull moments around my house. Like all brothers (I being the oldest) we loved to play practical jokes.    I believed that I was the master who always had the upper hand. However, like many experiences in life, things are not all as they first appear.

The year was 1971 and my home was located in a small town in Pennsylvania. I was back from college one weekend and my brother called late at night wanting help to repair a bulldozer that one of the logging companies had broken. The company desperately needed the machine early in the morning so my cousin and I both agreed to work. Since I was in college and any money was more money than I had, why not? My cousin was a very good mechanic like my brother. I realized that I was mechanically challenged when I received my erector set for Christmas at eight years old and tried to attach the little metal things together with a hammer. Later that night, we went to find and repair the broken bulldozer.

We arrived at the wood mill about two o'clock in the morning and there it was, a giant foreboding monster of a device, a mechanical Godzilla towering over a mountain of hardwood logs. My job was to pass tools. I watched in awe as my brother and cousin dismantled the giant machine. I saw tracks, blades, and engine parts, pieces of steel falling rapidly to the ground. Like the skilled hands of highly trained surgeon, they quickly did their work on the metal giant. Like an old western movie, the quiet of the hot summer evening was broken by the sound of air guns a blazing!

Out of the distance, I saw it … the flashing red light, the car racing up the drive way and a terrifying voice that said, "Show me Your Hands Fellas". It was the police. Next I heard " Up against the Wall". My brother and cousin reached for the sky. I stood like a deer in the headlights. With a shaking voice, I spoke: "Officer we are authorized to be here, we are repairing this Bulldozer, just ask my brother, ask my cousin". My brother replied "I aint saying Nothing without my Lawyer". My cousin replied, " Well if he isn't saying anything then I sure am not going to either".   That was it, I was the helpless victim here, and yet I was now a criminal! What would my mother think, what would my priest say - Oh the injustice of it all!   I was sure my life was over, that I was going to jail; all of my hopes, dreams, and aspirations had just become one giant pile of bulldozer parts.

A few minutes later an elderly lady appeared with a cane and a very large dog. She said, "What is the problem officer". The policeman replied: "These fella's were trying to steal this bulldozer". Oh she said, "You are mistaken". My son owns this mill and he called them to fix his broken bulldozer.   The police officer took off the handcuffs and said: "Go back to work guys"

After the car pulled away my brother started laughing hysterically. "Boy did I have you going, I got you good, and you should have seen your face, OH YES". In that moment I realized - my brother was the master and I a mere Squire!