The one thing about Mudcat that really makes me want to leave it, walk away and never look back is frustration.

Not the frustration of feeling so dull in the midst of vibrant intelligent articulate people, though this does make me feel insecure and ashamed of my lack. I have learned to accept that I am not the sharpest tool in the box. A rubber mallet has its uses too.

Not the frustration of repeatedly mean spirited posters and the silliness of letting them get a rise out me and others. Though this bugs me I am mature enough to realise people are who they are and everyone has off days. I can live with it.

The thing see.... the thing that really upsets me most about Mudcat is the virtual meeting of so many people and the horror of not ever having the opportunity to meet them person, to hear them perform, to discover and remember the intonations, facial expressions, turns of phrase. And it is the loss I feel when a Mudcatter passes away, that I did not know and only came to know through others and from archive threads.


It is the furstration that I am missing something that I will never be able to gain.

So that is the danger of Mudcat for me.

I won't go, though. At least not yet.


For now, the fascination is stronger than the frustration.

Think I will dedicate this specific post to Sandy Paton. I didn't know him, though I believe his recent passing just kicked over the bucket of culminating anxiousness about missing out on seeing and hearing Mudcat people.