What nobody ever seems to think about, is that unruly teenagers don't suddenly appear in a puff of blue smoke, and neither do unruly primary school children. Learning, for a child, begins the moment the eyes focus for the first time, and those first five years see a rate of assimilation of knowledge that will never agin be achieved within a lifetime.

My children knew the meaning of the world's most important word, NO, before they could crawl. It wasn't beaten into them, and neither were they terrified into understanding.

If they did something wrong, they were told "No", and gently restrained. They quickly learned that to try to disobey was fruitless, and stopped trying. Both had reached this stage before their first birthday.

From then on "No" stopped them doing whatever they were doing, even if it was not on their learned list of No-Nos.

The second important step was the banning, in our house, of the awful habit when a small child misbehaves of smiling, and saying "Aww, Isn't that cute"?

No, it isn't cute, it's wrong, and that was always made clear.

Suffice to say they were as mischievous as most kids, but always stopped short of what they recognised as the limits, and if you asked either of them now, they would say they had a wonderful childhood, because we rarely had to exert any discipline.

They are both following the same course with thir kids.

I am dubious about blaming today's parents for not controlling their children's behaviour. They are at a disadvantage by reason of being the children or grandchildren of the trendily undisciplined Dr Spock generation.

I thank God I was old enough to see through that quack, and recognise him for the egregious idiot he was.

Don T.