The trouble I think is that the original poster, Cromdubh, has come to a site where I would bet that the majority of the people here sing and write songs that are very standard rhythm and rhyme...and most of us are way way older...and lots has happened since Joan Baez was a nymph. So he is introducing us to songs that we can't put into a format that we recognize, but that is probably more popular with younger listeners.

So he can't get the feedback he wants because by and large we would not be his audience.

So I personally can't offer much feedback...I do like this very much..\

Just another soldier in a foreign land
Patroling the streets, made of sand,
Keeping the peace at the end of a sword,
trying to be a man that's worth his salt.

It is very clear what is going on. But then the song goes into something about a fishermen with a knife and I don't see the connection. I was getting wrapped up in the soldier story and wanted to know more. I think this is more poetry than song, but I can't analyize poetry so I don't know.

Anyway, I can't be of much help. Keep writing though and I would say look for a songwriter's group that you can attend in person, or on line..and I am definitely not saying don't present them here as well, but that it is a different type of music than most of us are doing. Good luck with it all. mg