From "Folklore and Songs of the Black Country" by Jon Raven (Wolverhampton: Wolverhampton Folk Song Club, 1965), page 45:


LUMPY TUMS
(Notes & Queries Vol. 5)

Potatoes, they are windy meat,
But fermity it is a treat.
Pudding's good when stuffed with plums,
But let me have some lumpy-tums.

Would you your tender offspring rear
With bodies fit fatigues to bear,
Pamper them not with dainty crums [sic],
But bring them up on lumpy-tums.

That Bradnop man, Jim Shaw, who slew
Ten valiant French at Waterloo,
His nervous arm dealt them their dooms,
'Cause he was reared o' lumpy-tums.

Kind heaven, listen to my prayer,
And grant me while I tarry here—
I ask not wealth's uncounted sums
But health and peace and lumpy-tums.