Minutes of the ReImagined Village Parish Council Meeting

Present:
Sir Winford Toadstrangler-Gout (Chair)
Lawrence Goatdung
Noel Dorchester (deceased)
Amelia Prickgroper
Rev. Warton Pederast
Lorrinda Nicelady
Will Knot (Parish Clerk)


Current Business.

1.        Installation of a ducking stool at the village pond.
It was agreed to provide the sum of £150 from parish funds for the construction on condition that its use be restricted to recreational purposes and that resulting witch-burning be confined to fund raising at the village fete.

2.        Dog fouling.
It was proposed that the owner of any dog caught fouling the pavements should have his or her nose rubbed in it. This was agreed unanimously.

3.        Provision of a folk/rock record library.
Following the offer from several residents of donations of vinyl LPs by folk/rock combos Mr Fox, Albion Band, Steeleye Span and Fotheringay, it was agreed to allow redundant shelving in the Pornography and Jam Making sections of the village library (available as all the books have been purloined)to be used to house this collection.

4.        Removal of Noel Dorchester from the Parish Council.
It was proposed that Mr Noel Dorchester be removed from the Parish Council on the grounds that he had been dead for over two years and was attracting an abundance of flies. Mr Dorchester was asked to leave the room while this was discussed but, as parts of him remained, a decision was put on hold.

5.        An increase in lycanthropic incidents.
Rev. Pederast drew the council's attention to recent activity following the full moon resulting in several sheep having their throats torn out, the discovery of the dismembered body of village postman, Ivor Parcelforyer, and deep claw marks in the church door. It was agreed to provide Mrs Barghest with a strong set of chains and instructions on how and when to apply them to her husband.

The Chairman suspended the meeting following an unpleasant incident involving a village resident, a rabbit pie and indecent pictures of an Australian pornographer.