Minds of the old joke about the Aussie with a new job at a grocer's in Sydney who was asked by a persistent customer to purchase a half head of cabbage. He went to the manager and reported that an idiot wanted to buy half a head of cabbage, then noticing the customer behind him. Immediately, he said, "And this fine gentleman would like to purchase the other half." The manager okayed the sale, after which he asked the young man, obviously a quick thinker, why he left Melbourne.

The lad said he was going nowhere and had to get out of a town full of nothing but footballers and whores. The manager said his wife was from there... "Oh? And what team did she play for?"