Let's keep things in perspective here you chaps.

Mr Noel Dorchester committed suicide after taking a mouthful of the albatross served up in a restaurant whilst on holiday in Madeira. Prior to that he's been the happiest man alive - vivacious wife, even more vivacious lover, beautiful (if illegitimate) daughter, loving (if severely disabled) son, lively (if slightly manic) grandson etc. etc.

A tragic if somewhat baffling set of circumstances. Perhaps one you budding sleuths out there might provide a solution...

Meanwile, Nigel Dorchester is playing Mr Fox's The Gypsy very loud indeed whilst putting the finishing touches to his 00-scale model of Rivington Halt, circa 1935. Mendle is an especial favourite.

Elsewhere, the fastidious Mrs Janice Poulton is convinced that the breakage of a valuable piece of crockery (an identical piece was valued at £800 on a recent episode of The Antiques Roadshow) is due to poltergeist activity consequent on the discovery of a mummified cat in the wainscoting of their 17th century farm house.

Mr Peter Poulton is down at the Khatru with his mates for the Friday quiz unaware of the distress that his wife phoning the vicar for advice.