'The editor of a large New York publishing house returned one weighty manuscript with the comment: "I am returning this paper. Someone wrote on it."

A critic once reviewed a concert by an amateur group this way: "Last night a Massey Hall Auditorium, the Viceroy played Beethoven. Beethoven lost." '

Two 'reviews' from somewhere on Mr Google.

1) They help the critics ego but they are base and beneath contempt.

2) Few critics are like that these days.

3) If you get one like that, chalk it up to experience, because the reviewers are clever but they have no heart, and they would NOT give a damn what you say to them.

4) I gave up reading reviews anyway. Had one performance way back and two papers in the same town did reviews. One was a rave and the other was not at all good. I figured even back then that if they couldn't agree with each other then what was the point. They are the last reviews I read about me.