Mrrzy, I just found a book you should take a look at. It's called "A Guy Goes into a Bar..."by (really) Al Tapper and Peter Press. It's published by Andrews McNeel Press, $10.95; ISBN 0-7407-0502-4. It probably won't end up in your public library (the covers are die-cut to look like a bottle & it's spiral-bound so it would wear out quickly with heavy use), but it was worht the purchase to me. Its a nice mix of classics, old friends, and jokes I didn't know. It didn't have the turtle-for-a-prize or the drunk-sees-a-chicken-on-a-rotisserie, though. Still, an affordable, thorough collection isn't to be sneezed at.