If caught, however, thou shalt firmly deny all guilt.

If found guilty in any case, however, thou shalt experience a dramatic conversion and "find Jesus", thus expiating thy guilt and being forgiven all thy prior sins.

Thou shalt then write a book about it, appear on Oprah and Larry King Live, and go about the country, yea, even the world, telling thy inspiring story to the fascinated masses.

Thou shalt grow very wealthy and live in goodness all thy days.