From "The Red Green Show" (Canadian television series that ran a whole 300 episodes and is still being played on some U. S. public television stations).

Arnie Doogen appears from time to time on the "Experts" portion of the show. He's a roofer by trade, but that's just his day job. He writes country songs (13,000 so far, he says) and he's just waiting for his singing career to catch on. He invariably appears with one leg in a cast and wearing a neck brace, the hazards of the roofing trade. He also has a guitar in his lap, which (when he introduces his latest song, much to the distress of Red and Harold), he plays it flat on his lap, strumming with his right hand, and playing chords with his left thumb (no complicated harmonies).

His songs seem more or less tuneless, and they neither rhyme nor scan, so he does them sort of like Gregorian chants while Red and Harold sit there looking slightly horrified.

This is one of his better ones, as well as I can remember it:

When you feel like a toad crossing the road of life
And everything that happens to you feels like a steel-belted radial,
As you lay there in a puddle of your assorted bodily fluids,
Just remember:   you made your mark.

It may be copyrighted, but I'm not sure anyone would actually want to take responsibility. . . .

Don Firth